Is love enough?

I had an incident with my son the other day, we were arguing and I was so frustrated and angry. I walked into the kitchen to give myself some breathing space and I kept saying to myself over and over again, “Go back with love, go back with love.”  I went back with tears in my eyes and told him how much I loved him and apologised for raising my voice and getting upset with him and he hugged me and said, ‘Thank you Mum, I love you, it’s ok”.  From that moment our day was so different and I knew that something magical had happened.

As I watch the news and read blogs and posts on parenting there is much said about education, health, sport, activities or research on what produces the best results.

You are told to encourage your child to participate and not push them too hard, buy them a Happy Meal but make sure they don’t become obese,  limit their time with technology and buy them the latest educational iPad app and the confusing list goes on and on.

The ‘experts’ speak of homework, boundaries, setting limits, immunising, bullying, time-outs, behaviour management, star charts and bedtime routines. We watch as Supernanny frowns at children and wags her finger at unacceptable behaviour.

Then there are the ads that depict happiness in terms of the right nappies to buy and shiny appliances, toddler formulas, breast is best and designer bedrooms – but what about relationships?

It saddens me that love and connection seem to be peddled as a by product of owning more stuff or having more money.

I dream of a world that encourages you to delight in your child needing you so much and celebrates us just being with each other without seeking an outcome.

Imagine being told that love really is all you need, that despite the tough times and the hours when you feel like you’ve failed or not been good enough or you’ve yelled and regretted it, that love will shine through at the end of the day when you tuck them into bed and kiss them on the cheek or leave a note in their lunchbox.

I want you to stop striving to be the perfect parent or to create the perfect child because it’s a myth – over the years, all of the parents I’ve met are just like you and me – tired, stressed, short on time and imperfect and giving themselves a hard time because they worry that they aren’t doing a good enough job for their children. And I see the love in their worries.

Instead of stressing, look into the eyes of your children and see that you already have everything you need.  Fall into their hearts and live there for a while and soak in the pureness of their love and how much they need you.

All you need is love x

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